Akkam’s Razor

I spent yesterday afternoon at a party at a lower Northeast Philadelphia bar for 75th birthday-slash-St. Patrick’s Day. Assembled were various members of my wife’s side of the family.

Once again, I was horrified. As soon as they got comfortable with the homogeneity of the audience, the black, jew, and pollack jokes started flying. I guess the finer moments in the history of the Lucky Irish are lost on them, particularly their legacy as the most persecuted white nationality (Is that correct? Prove me wrong.)

Full disclosure: I’m adopted - so I have no idea ‘what’ I am. Based on some things I know, I’m probably Irish-Italian, but again, who knows? Honestly, I don’t really care, either.

Eventually, the talk turn to the 2008 Presidential Election, and the table is just a giant McCain love-fest. I’m shocked. Brothers- and Sisters-In-Law who only months ago were commiserating on the lousy economy and this stupid war and suddenly for the guy who for all intents and purposes will be the third-term of the Bush White House, the guy who’s platform is “more wars, less jobs”.

Then the truth comes out - if 2004 was about “God, Gays, and Guns” for Republicans, then 2008 is “no bitches, no blacks”. I heard all the usual FOXNEWS and talk radio talking points. “Obama is a muslim”, and “did you hear what his pastor said”, and also, courtesy of Mrs. Clinton, the fact that “he doesn’t have experience”. If not for Hillary’s contribution, I’d the Grand Old Party should be renamed to Group of Parrots. “Smerconish said this”, and “Hannity said that” punctuated the conversation. I wanted to throw some sharp elbows, and tried to explain McCain’s lobbyist problem, his not quite pro-life voting record, and of course, McCain’s own problem with a pastor’s recommendation.

My pro-Union USPS-working father-in-law loves St. Reagan, but is oblivious to Ronnie’s anti-union activity, particularly his NLRB actions and busting the Flight Controllers Union. My religious-conservative mother-in-law wonders aloud why no one is talking about gun control in the national election, clueless as to her party’s contribution, and particularly how compromised they are by the National Rifle Association. My sister-in-law complains about the high cost of medical care, yet ignores how all politicans are bought-and-sold by lobbyists, particularly Saint McCain.

At one point in the evening, she asked me a question, and rather than call the whole lot of them “the Reconstituted Know-Nothing” party and get called-out as an idealistic-intellectual elitist, I decided to disengage from the conversation.

Her reply to me?

“You don’t want to talk because you’re outnumbered!”

I held my tongue. It’s usually at this point that I call someone an idiot, and my wife reminds me that people can disagree on some things.

But there’s no reasoning with irrational people.

These people have chosen their frame for looking at the world, and it is not worth my effort to try and change them…